did i really do that

 i feel like nothing i do is real anymore. am i making it up?

I feel like everyone is better than me, but in a better way

 I don't envy these people. I actually feel like they deserve much better life than I do. I deserved what I got. I'm not as a good person as I may seem. I feel so alone in my world.

You may say I have everything - a loving friend, good friends. But that's not enough. This life is ruining me, but it is probably because I get what I deserve for what I've done.    

What have I done? I don't really know. All I know is that I feel that I fully deserve it.

There are a few things I know they were bad and hurtful. I still feel shame and regret to this day. THEY DON'T CARE.

SUCK IT UP. THEY'RE JUST PRETENDING. THEY WILL NEVER UNDERSTAND YOU, NO ONE WILL. I FEEL LIKE IM IN ANOTHER WORLD. WHERE NO ONE IS HERE. NO ONE. EVEN IF I DO THING SOMEONE IS HERE, IT ENDS UP THAT IM THE ONLY ONE WHO'S HERE. I AM SORRY. I AM SORRY. WHY AM I LIKE THIS. WHY CAN'T I UNDERSTAND OTHERS AND OTHERS CANNOT UNDERSTAND ME. WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME.

should i start counting down??

NONONONONO

NONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONO 

apology

 Hi, I am incredibly sorry guys! D: I promised to post everyday, but actually I didn't :c. I forgot about this blog! Really! That's really awful, don't you think? I keep making mistakes...

I hope you will forgive me soon! <3

Airashi

i am empty

 I feel nothing, but emptiness. I feel like... I am this emptiness I feel. Do I exist? Am I real? I'm tired. I'm tired everyday, just please help me...

~~~

Hello guys! Sorry for not posting a while :c. I will try to get better, I promise! By the way, I plan on renovating my blog, it will look much cooler! :D

I hope you guys are getting better at this quarantinne! :3

Airashi

sleep

Well, sleeping is great. Maybe the greatest thing that have ever existed in this universe.
Today I learned how sleep can be addicting because of how happy it makes you. Today... I dreamed about that I have friends (Link from BotW, Isabelle from Animal Crossing and Doomguy). I dye my hair in a rainbow. I am happy.
But, when I woke up... it all disappeared.
I'm sad. I just wish I could sleep for eternity.
Well, you may say "But what's hard in searching for new friends? Plenty of fish in this sea we live. And... what's wrong in dying your hair? Just go to the hairdresser and let them do your hair as you wish."
Well, I'll tell you.
The problem is, I always have problem with communicating with people. They start hating me eventually. They tell me to fuck off. Some of them didn't treat me nicely. Well... maybe I shouldn't live with people.
And, about dying my hair. I'm planning to cut it.
~~~
Hello! Sorry for not writing any posts lately, just didn't feel like it >w<
Hope you guys have an amazing day!

Airashi

why

are they looking at me like that

Oh i know

Ive done something in a wrong way

Again

As always

Im pissed off on myself, not on then

Because they just simply told me to do that, its not their fault

But i know it is my fault

As always.

~~~

I sometimes feel that i am left behind

Is that true? Am i alone? Has everyone left me?

Im not sure what to think about it. Maybe they just wanted to, you know, make me better but they failed

But im never gonna be better, i just dont know what else i can do...

~~~

Hello there my fellow readers! My name is Airashi and I make this blog. This blog is also some kind of countdown for something, but I won't tell you what is it. It's a surprise uwu. You're gonna know it when I end writing posts on this blog. The Last Post will tell you everything. But maybe I should tell something about myself!

My name is Airashi and im gonna hit my early 20s soon. The name of this blog came up with combining "non binary" (because I am non binary, my pronouns are they/them, but I don't mind if you use my original gender pronouns she/her; I just feel genderless, but still like a girl) and my... uhm, existence? Well, it may be a bad idea to name my blog like this, but I didn't have any other ideas, hee hee ;D

I'm gonna post everytime I feel like this, I will try to post something once per day. And please understand that English is not my first language, okay? UwU

Well, that's all for today! :D Buh bye!

Airashi